I would like to point out that this “muffin eating” technique has been tested by two people who have a tendency to lack will-power on their days off (and on most other days too), especially when it comes to sweet food-stuffs (or any other food-stuffs, for that matter). I should also like to say, “don’t try this at home” except that it was tried at home by the aforementioned two people*. And the facts are as follows: if your intention is to actually have a bowl of high-fiber cereal for breakfast, a substantial and healthy lunch, an afternoon piece of fruit, and a light, but satisfying dinner, then I don’t recommend finding yourself alone in the house with a pint of blueberries, a splash of buttermilk and a 1/2 cup of cream. You might find that you’ve no interest in putting forth the effort to cook proper meals when there are perfectly delicious blueberry muffins calling your name from the counter-top.
*And for the purpose of full disclosure, the resident male muffin-eater has been playing at least 10 hours of golf per week, and his female counterpart has the metabolism and nervous-nature of a hummingbird.
The Actual Technique for Eating Four Blueberry Muffins in One Day
- Eat one blueberry muffin, still warm from the oven around 10:30am
- Eat one blueberry muffin once it is fully cool to determine if it is still a good muffin
- Eat one blueberry muffin around 3pm, in lieu of lunch, since lunch time is long gone and you are starving
- Take 3 blueberry muffins to your parents’ house, watch your father wolf one down in under 20 seconds, saying through a mouth full of crumbs, “Let’s just tell Mom that you only brought two.”
- Eat one blueberry muffin around 9pm just to confirm that it still tastes fresh even after sitting on the counter, uncovered, with the fan oscillating nearby. Note: they were still fresh and delicious.
As stated before, this method was successfully carried out by the two people mentioned above, and will likely be tested again in the near future, for the sake of accuracy. I suspect the results will be similar.
Blueberry Cream Muffins adapted from Bakewise by Shirley Corriher
I liked the effect of small berries, as they didn’t explode too much as the muffin cooked. If you can only find large berries, freeze them first and add those frozen berries directly to the batter, baking them as directed.
- 2 cups spooned and leveled all purpose flour
- 2 teaspoons baking powder
- 3/4 teaspoon kosher salt
- 1 large egg
- 1/2 cup canola oil
- 1/3 cup buttermilk
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 1 teaspoon grated lemon zest
- 1 Tablespoon grated orange zest
- 1/2 cup heavy cream
- 1-1/2 cups fresh blueberries (I did a few with raspberries and they were lovely too)
- 1 Tablespoon course sugar for topping
Set a baking stone on your oven rack and place it in the lower third of the oven. Turn the oven on to 425 degrees.
Prepare one muffin pan by spraying it with non-stick spray, or lining it with muffin papers.
In a large mixing bowl whisk together the flour, baking powder, salt, and sugar for 30 seconds so that it is light and powdery.
In a medium bowl, whisk the egg with a fork, and add the canola oil, buttermilk, vanilla, and zests, whisking to combine.
Separately, pour the cream into a small bowl and whip to a soft peak. (This means that you’ll whip it until a little peak forms as you lift your whisk out of the cream. A stiff peak is when the peak stands upright. A soft peak is when the peak bends it’s head like the humpback of Notre Dame.)
Make a well in the middle of the dry ingredients and dump in the egg mixture all at once. Beat it well until it is thoroughly combined. Don’t worry about over-mixing.
Fold in 1/4 of the whipped cream, then fold in the remaining whipped cream. Fold in the berries.
Divide the batter evenly between all 12 muffin holes and sprinkle the course sugar over the top.
Turn the oven down to 400 degrees and prop open the oven door for 10 seconds, then place the muffin pan on the baking stone and close the oven door. Bake for about 20 minutes, or until a toothpick insterted into the center of a muffin comes out clean.
Cool the muffins in the pan for 5 minutes, then jar the pan on the counter to help loosen the muffins before removing them to a cooling rack.